This is a pair of Jackass Penguins (specifically, ones that live in the garden of the house we are renting)

This is the image that comes up when you Google, “motel by the hour”

What do these things have in common? They both exist on the outskirts of town? They both don’t like it when photographers wait outside for them? No. 

Roundabout nighttime, at an inappropriate time for everyone else except college kids, the same sounds can be heard eminating from their surfaces (audio example below)

Is it a bedframe pounding against a wall? Is it a penguin honking until breathless? Is it old mattress springs squeaking until they might break, or is it a penguin trying to find its mate?

The only real difference? Motels by the hour have a rotating client base who pretty much do things under fifteen minutes, penguins mate for life and are in no rush to stop. 

Editor’s Note: I promise the sounds get super confusing at 2a after a lot of wine has been consumed, you’re brushing your teeth and the room next to you contains a couple, and one of said couple is celebrating a birthday and has declared it “will be the best birthday ever”.