“Please don’t die one of those stupid, highly preventable deaths” is a recurring thought:

– don’t get run over by your own car

– dont die sky diving because you forgot to bring your parachute (or check that it was there)

– don’t not “mind the gap”

– don’t “overwork” yourself to death by not going home, not eating and then turning into an mummified corpse at your desk

– don’t become obsessed with video games and die playing 

– always shut the lid on the airline toilet before you flush so that you don’t get sucked into that vortex that totally does exist

In Africa, the big one is definitely “do not get eaten by a wild animal whilst trying to take a picture of it”. 

If one is in an open air vehicle and an animal approaches and for whatever reason, you cannot get away (always make sure your car has gas) then be very still, at least if it attacks no one will assume it was your fault for wanting to take a selfie with your new friend. 

Cut to today – we came across a cheetah and her four Cubs (note, my phone seems to think I am referencing the Chicago Cubs and it won’t let me uncapitalize the word Cubs). They were lounging in the sun about 30 meters away; we happily snapped away. 

Then they decided to get up, stretch and walk to us, at some point in the walk I realized that looking through my phone lens was giving me a distorted view of how far away they were; I looked up and this giant, recent mother of a cat is approaching the hood of the car, about to get to my, completely open side.

I froze, wondered why no one else seemed to mind (totally different when you know what you wouldn’t be the sacrificial lamb) and thought “I’m missing a great picture, shut it dumbass you need to NOT be taking a picture right now”

She kept walking a disappeared into the bush. Other people got great pictures, but I leave you with this