Getting Around Johannesburg…

First off, I lucked out because I am staying with friends here, so a lot of the time it’s them taking me somewhere / me hitching a ride…

But, what do you do if:

– Despite two days of “for not having driven in 20 yrs, you are remarkably good” driving practice, you probably should not drive here because A) they drive on the other side of the street here, and while you did remember (after asking) which pedal was the break and which was the gas, the different side of the street thing would probably be too much for your brain to handle. There is pretty much no other reason than A.

– You don’t have an unlimited Uber budget

– Everything you read about the public transport system seems to conflict with the next thing, leaving you to question whether you should try it alone before understanding the city


– You take the City Sightseeing Bus! I’ve never taken these things before, but I loved it. 

They take you everywhere you need to go, give you headphones (which link up to a system that gives you fun facts: Jacaranda trees are an invasive species from South America that take up too much underground water, so they will die off / not be replanted in about fifty years), and you can sit up high and get great views of some amazing houses and a very green city

How to Survive 12 Hours in the Frankfurt Airport: Z Gates Edition

Are you here during the day? Yes? You should probably go outside.

Are you here during the day, but it is freezing outside and you didn’t pack any winter clothes because you’re only travelling to warm places? Yes? Keep reading.

1. Walk up and down the hallway a bit, shake out those legs, before you do this, remember to brush your teeth, you don’t want to accidentally wipe out your remaining human entertainment with terrible breath

2. Try and (fail) getting into one of the lounges

3. This is very important – find a sleeper chair (located at either end of the Z Gates), pile all your stuff on top of you and sleep

*There is a swanker version at the other end, but they were all occupied

4. Wake up when the blood circulation to your legs (due to the pile of luggage) has been cut off

5. Treat yourself to a nice meal, and don’t worry if you fail in this attempt because there are other choices and lots of time. I am currently eating a very disappointing, definitely not Angus cheeseburger with “burger sauce”. It tastes kind of like feet, thank God for potatoes.

6. Retreat back to sleeper chairs, passing several hot dog stands on the way – wondering 2 things- why, for once in your life you didn’t take the cheap way out and get a hotdog, and secondly, how could you get poisoned on your first day of travel, while in Germany

7. Count the number of times “Wolfgang” gets called over the comms system – about 12 with 5 hrs to go

8. Get a fancy sleeper seat, plonk down for remaining hrs to read and listen to non intellectual podcasts


The beginning

Any good life changing journey should probably end with wise words in the form of a hasthtaggable statement (#livelife, #watchsunsets?), but until you start, you don’t know what those inevitably insightful words are going to be

I imagine the beginning (based on very limited experience) should always begin with something cheesy, so in the absence of that, because my brain is mush – here is the last thing I ate (at the Seattle Airport)

Here’s to adventures, cheese and cheesy adventures in 2016!

Now off to Johannesburg (after a 12 hr layover in Frankfurt)