When I was deciding where to move a friend said, “Don’t move to L.A – you’re not blonde no one will date you.” While that statement could take an infinite … Continue reading Overheard in LA: All Looks Matter
“Have you guys ever heard of a volunteer getting mango worms?” Was the sentence I used as I went around asking authoritative-type figures who might know the answer. None of … Continue reading Mango Worms: How to Strike Fear into an Otherwise Semi-Logical Person
You know when you have one of those days with someone when you can imagine being married to them? But not one of those happy marriages, it may start out … Continue reading My (Work) Husband, the (Reluctant?) Saviour
This morning at 9:30am, whilst scrubbing a bear pool, I fell in, straight into the very questionable bear juice. You know it’s questionable when it is filled with corn kernals, … Continue reading I Started My Day in a Pool, but Not Just Any Pool
Mmmm dried sweat, fresh sweat and various kinds of animal feces – an aphrodisiac cocktail that attracts nothing but mosquitos – no matter how much DEET you put on, they queue up.
Say whatever you want about mosquitos, but they love indescriminately- sure, they may love some a tiny bit more than others, but on a whole they are the hippies of animal kingdom. They believe in free, interspecies type love.
They are impatient, they don’t wait for the Tinder, “you matched with…” button, they don’t wait for the third date, they definitely don’t buy you a drink first; they just aggressively grab you and take what they want.
Now, they may not be the most selfless companions, and they dont care whether you have a good time, but they never leave you alone, and even if they do “”ghost” you for a bit, they’ll be back – it just maybe in an Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator 2 kind of way.
The point of this post: when you’re volunteering with wildlife, kind of like when you’re in prison (stereotype), you’ll take what you can get. At least something wants to be around you.
Employer: Wildlife Friends Foundation, Thailand Job Title: Volunteer Skills Aquired (over three days of volunteering, two and a half weeks left to go, so expect this list to grow: Team … Continue reading Resume Updates: “Other Skills” Section
Primates are “members of the most developed and intelligent group of mammals, including humans, monkeys and apes” – sorry dolphins, but apparently that’s what the the Cambridge Advanced Lerner’s Dictionary says.
Of course, not all primates were created equal, if they were then I’m pretty sure based on pure size, humans would not be a position to greenlight more Planet of the Apes movies.
When you start to look at the differences between us highly intelligent mammals every “upgrade” starts to seem a little like an Apple “new version” release – an upgrade that simultaneously adds something new and also takes away something useful (looking at you, headphone jacks).
The difference between monkeys and apes? Tails. The upgrade was to remove the tail. Now, I know this probably had a practical reason, but why couldn’t we just keep the tail, get bigger and learn how to exist on the ground? If humans had tails we could swing from buildings and live in trees, alleviating some of our traffic problems, and making it much easier to pass highschool P.E.
The difference between apes and humans? Walking on two legs and better hand function (and a language that we can understand). No one is going to argue with better hand function – we learned how to make tools, it’s like Apple coming out it camera upgrades, very useful for taking better selfies – which is progressing the human race. But, did we really have to sacrifice being able to walk on all fours? Like, why can’t we walk upright and on four legs. We could be our own pack animals, and giving kids rides around the house would be so much easier.
It feels like Evolution is messing with us, saying “I could make the world’s most perfect animal, and while I could do it all at once, I’m going to do it in fifty steps – and no, you’re not getting a USB port until the end.”