Ow. 
More words on most beds in cheap asian hotels:

Sleeping in the bed feels like you paid for a cheap massage and didn’t read the fine print that says “conducted by novice three legged cow”

My head is currently on something that can best be described as “sandbag”

*This is definitely not meant to represent all hotels or all beds, this came after a frustrating night of tossing and turning whilst having a cold -so apologies if I sound like “The Princess and the Pea”