Ever had one of those days where the news says it’s going to rain, but you choose to call their bluff and not carry an umbrella? Or one of those days where you seriously debate paying your credit card bill, just to see what would happen?

Well, I know what happens. 

Leeches happen.

Bloody leeches happen. 

The one time I decide not to wear long socks hiking. The one time I decide not to stuff my hiking pants into my long socks. Bloody leeches. 

Like, so many leeches. On each leg. 

What did I think would happen whilst hiking in a rainforest that describes itself as “130 Million Years Old”? I thought, bugs, I thought monkeys, I thought mud – but I freaking forgot about leeches. 

You could watch them, in the mud, quickly moving towards your heat, hungry for blood. We thought if we moved quick enough they wouldn’t get us, but they just hitched a ride on all the mud we acquired. One even dropped from a tree. And then they just hunkered down for a bit of a snuggle. 

And now I’m searching for leeches in places I never thought I’d be searching for anything, and wishing I weren’t single – cause who is going to check the places I can’t reach? 

From now on, always carry an umbrella, and maybe an extra pint of blood.