Dear New Zealand, you are a mighty country filled with volcanoes, mountains, earthquakes, oceans, glaciers, daring people willing to throw themselves off all manner of things, and the All Blacks, I wouldn’t change a thing, well maybe just some small things:

1. Sinks. How does one use these tiny sinks? Whenever I wash my face a lake of water forms on the floor. I would suggest bigger sinks, but if that can’t be done, please provide instructions. 

2. Wifi. Better wifi, or even more free WiFi would be great.

3. Feijoa. This fruit is absolutely delicious (it’s like a guava and a strawberry had a baby) and no one knows about it, definite next “world breakout food” potential. Same with Manuka honey. 

4. Spice. Please make the “spicey” option just a tad spicier, your palate might not thank me now, but it will later. 

5. Tea. How is tea the same price as a cappuccino? It only requires a tea bag, hot water and some milk from the fridge – hardly seems right.

That’s about it, thank you. Oh wait, one more thing – advertise the North Island more, it really doesn’t get the credit it deserves.