Blatantly Hitting on Someone Without Having a Clue

Handy tip: of you want someone to follow you around for a bit, especially in a slightly creepy way, upon introduction to said person, just say “hi, (I hear you’re jumping on our bus), you’re very attractive, don’t laugh, it’s empirically true and you know it – see those boys over there….” 

The rest of the introduction (a nefarious plan to give the boys on our bus some competition) bypasses their brain completely and all you’re left with is a guy who thinks you think they are attractive. 

Should I have known better? Probably. Definitely. But now I get to make excuses as though I am in a hair commerical, “well, must go brush my teeth…”, “Been wearing the same clothes for too long, really must do laundry”, “couldn’t possibly tonight, must look for my passport” 

delayed lessons in adulting…

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