When You Are a Worry Wart Who Starts Acting Like a Hypochondriac

So I bruised my ribs. No big deal, Google said to take Ibuprofuen and ice them for 72 hrs. That was not a problem on Friday.

That was not a problem on Saturday morning; I woke up feeling at least 30% better, right on schedule. I made pancakes, with bananas. And then I sneezed. 

One of those super violent sneezes, one where you know it’s coming and you can’t duck and cover, you just wait helplessly for the 30 secs in slow motion to pass as your body heaves. And in that moment, all the healing was undone.

The pain was horrible. I hobbled to the couch, abondoned cleaning the dishes, was brought pills and the frozen butter (I have since switched to a frozen water bottle). I slept on that couch for 2 hrs, till I told myself off for being lazy and made it through the rest of the day. 

But, I started to wonder – had I broken anything? Google said if I could successfully take deep breaths, I was fine…Okay, no problem. 

Then came dinner: sort of pasta bake made with cheese, eggs and frozen veggies. Minutes later I had that “I might throw up” feeling, I swallowed. I went cold. I went hot. I excused myself from learning about the problems with thr South African rugby team, grabbed my frozen water bottle and a cup of hot water and retreated to my room. 

I took my temperature. 97F. Google said not to worry until 95F. Okay. I was cold, my arms were cold. Had I somehow cut off blood circulation? Would I be blue in the morning? I did have a frozen water bottle pressed against my chest, which might explain the chill. Okay, remove water bottle. 

I warmed up, the clamminess in my fingers went down, but my right arm feels puffy…Did I get bit by a spider? I don’t feel itchy and I can’t see anything, is it just extra muscle build up (yay)?..Everything feels heavy, but it feels lighter than ten minutes ago. 

The bruised ribs have sand-balled (ha) in my mind into broken ribs, torn arteries, deadly spider bites, possible amputations…

I’m typing this in bed, but I’m not going to publish it until I make it through to the morning.

I woke up! I’m alive! It’s dark outside, check watch, 1am – oof. Ribs feel good, arm still feels warm and is definitely a bit swollen, must be having an allergic reaction – take pills. 

Go back to bed.

Wake up, 6am! Light outside – I made it! Arm swelling has gone down enough to pinpoint warm point where there is probably a bite, it is towards my back and I can’t see it, but highly doubtful it is some flesh easting disease. 

On reflection – excellent that I brought a first aid kit the size of a day pack. And that you can google medical issues and not choose the WebMD suggestion. 

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