Do you want the spa results without paying for the spa experience? Try sand boarding
Do you like going really fast without the use of practical brakes? Try sandboarding.
Do you like falling down a lot? Try sandboarding.
Do you need to tell people that you did something cool? Try sandboarding.
Guess what guys? Today, we went sandboarding. It was awesome.
We started out on a small dune and quickly thought we were capable of the bigger one, cause if you’re going to hike up a mountain, you may as well take a long time getting down from the mountain.
However, our enthusiasm level didn’t really match our skill level (any turns we made were entirely on accident) and my falls (so many faceplants they could have been turned into an America’s Funniest Home Videos montage) kept getting worse, and despite singing “I get knocked down, but I get up again…Never going to keep me down” in my head and calculating the residuals I would I have to pay to Chumbawumba, eventually I took a big thud, lost my wind and bruised my ribs (self diagnosed)
While recovering one of the other boarders announced, “You’re not a REAL MAN until you’ve had some falls”
I raised my hand and said “Umm, could you please change that to PERSON because I’ve had a bunch of falls and would like to be considered REAL” (fight for feminism gets taken to the dunes).
Once back at the house, still bruised, I grabbed the butter from the freezer (it was either that or sausage, chicken and a pack of ribs) and sat on my bed, butter cooling my ribs, until it got squishy, and then used it for frying mushrooms for dinner (first aid camping tip)