How to Survive 12 Hours in the Frankfurt Airport: Z Gates Edition

Are you here during the day? Yes? You should probably go outside.

Are you here during the day, but it is freezing outside and you didn’t pack any winter clothes because you’re only travelling to warm places? Yes? Keep reading.

1. Walk up and down the hallway a bit, shake out those legs, before you do this, remember to brush your teeth, you don’t want to accidentally wipe out your remaining human entertainment with terrible breath

2. Try and (fail) getting into one of the lounges

3. This is very important – find a sleeper chair (located at either end of the Z Gates), pile all your stuff on top of you and sleep

*There is a swanker version at the other end, but they were all occupied

4. Wake up when the blood circulation to your legs (due to the pile of luggage) has been cut off

5. Treat yourself to a nice meal, and don’t worry if you fail in this attempt because there are other choices and lots of time. I am currently eating a very disappointing, definitely not Angus cheeseburger with “burger sauce”. It tastes kind of like feet, thank God for potatoes.

6. Retreat back to sleeper chairs, passing several hot dog stands on the way – wondering 2 things- why, for once in your life you didn’t take the cheap way out and get a hotdog, and secondly, how could you get poisoned on your first day of travel, while in Germany

7. Count the number of times “Wolfgang” gets called over the comms system – about 12 with 5 hrs to go

8. Get a fancy sleeper seat, plonk down for remaining hrs to read and listen to non intellectual podcasts


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